


Holmes and Watson

by aaronburrshotfirst



Series: Insanity [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Craic, Gen, other marvel characters are in this I just got lazy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-10-25 13:59:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaronburrshotfirst/pseuds/aaronburrshotfirst
Summary: (Don’t need to read the 1st story to get this)Peter is kidnapped by the Avengers. Wade and Matt try to find him. Chaos ensues





	1. Mystery

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u for all your lovely comments on my last story. You guys are the coolest people I swear

The unlocked door was kicked open and in stepped two men. One dressed formally in a suit and one dressed informally in a suit. The latter being Deadpool.

The man beside Wade carried a cane and wore dark sunglasses on his face. He moved his cane around. He was clearly blind. He marched into the interrogation room with sheer determination, brushing passed Tony Stark as if he didn’t exist. He slammed his briefcase onto the table.

“My name is Matt Murdock and I will be representing Mr Spider-Man.”

Wade snickered from behind him and gave a small wave to Peter.

 

Earlier 

 

Matt sighed as he sat at the edge of a rooftop in Hell’s Kitchen. Wade glanced over at him and patted his back much to Matt’s dismay. “Don’t worry Red, he’s just late.”

He continued to rub Matt’s back until Matt snarled at him. Wade immediately retracted his hand and begged for mercy. “Please don’t push me off the building again, Mr Devil. I’ll be a good boy. Pinky promise!” He extended his pinky finger out to Matt before instantly regretting that decision. Matt looked like he was actually considering biting it off.

“He’s probably just off doing young people things,” Wade soothed him waving his hand, gesturing nothing in particular. Matt raised a brow from under the mask. “You know, he seems young enough. He’s probably out sticking it to the man. Doing cocaine and drinking booze. Living the college life.”

Matt looked at him in horror and disbelief. “If you think Spidey has even looked at a drink before then your seriously mistaken. He probably doesn’t even know what it is,” he said before continuing to pout at the city.

“Well we don’t know what he does outside this life. He could be a drug dealer. Oh or a car thief or... or a secret agent!”

Matt was saved from having to respond when a red and blue figure smacked face first into the tarmac beside him. “Urgghhhh” the vigilante moaned. 

“Baby boy, you’re alive! You had us worried there for a minute. We thought you had died. We wrote a eulogy and everything. I ordered the flowers. It would have been beautiful.” 

Spider-man lifted just his head, and stared at Wade. “Dude, I was like 3 minutes late.”

“Punctuality is taken extremely seriously at this academy, I’ll have you know smarty pants,” Wade informed him in a painfully awful attempt at a British accent.

“I’m never more than like 10 minutes late. If I was 10 minutes late, then you could start planning funerals. By the way, you better get the real Taylor Swift to play at my funeral.”

Wade nodded enthusiastically before whispering “diva,” quietly so Matt’s enhanced hearing could pick it up. Of course he forgot that Spider-Man also had enhanced hearing which earned him a harsh stare down.

Matt smothered the relief on his face at seeing the spider-themed hero quickly. He clapped his hands. “Get up Spider-kid, we’ve got some training to do.”

 

 

The next day, they met at the same time and the same place. Well, more like 2 of them met. The arachnid had yet to show up.

“Wait a minute. This is all adding up. That one time you and Spidey got churros without me. That wasn’t a coincidence. You, you’re a secret agent too. You two are working together. I’m shocked. How could you do this to me?”

Matt prayed with all of his might that the other vigilante would show up. Not out of fear for their teammate but because he was worried he may be on the verge of insanity. 

A few more minutes passed and Matt was starting to feel antsy. He started pacing subconsciously, much to Wade’s amusement. 

“Doing more crack. God, I didn’t think we’d lose him this way,” Wade sighed looking out into the distance.

“Shut the fuck up, please,” Matt replied coldly with a hint of concern. “Ten minutes, Wade. It’s been ten minutes.”

Wade’s happy tone immediately vanished. He threw his hands up. “How the hell am I supposed to get Taylor Swift to come to the funeral? That was basically his dying wish.”

“Wade, I’m serious. He’s never this late, something’s up”

“Maybe he’s done with being a vigilante. Or maybe he’s gone off without us. I never understood why he wanted to patrol with us elderly folk.”

Without a word Matt leaped off the roof landing in a dumpster (somehow he did so gracefully?) in search of the little bug. Wade sighed and jumped off after him.


	2. Uhhhhh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re pretty good finders. Must be hufflepuffs

Wade groaned at Matt after hours of them scouring the city. “Can’t you just sniff him out?” He raised his eyebrows under the mask and smirked, “doggy style?”

Matt chose to ignore the last comment for both of their safety and simply stated that no, he wasn’t a dog. And once Wade persisted with further questions, he had to state once again, that he was not a bunch of dogs standing on top of each other’s shoulders, underneath the suit.

“Why would dogs want to be a vigilante, Wade? I’m trying really hard to see the logic here,” Matt gritted through his teeth. “And besides, how would these dogs even talk?”

Wade shook his head as if he was personally offended by what Matt has said. “You’ve never seen Space buddies? Santa buddies? At least tell me you’ve seen Snow buddies?”

Matt gave him a flat look under the mask.

Wade wandered further into the alleyway, muttering something about how Netflix better get a series started about crime fighting puppies to make up for all the cancelled marvel shows.

Matt was used to Wade’s bullshit so he continued on as if he hadn’t said a thing.  
“And I don’t just go around smelling people, Wade. Okay? I don’t know what the kid smells like.” Lies. Matt knew exactly what the spider-kid smelled like. He didn’t go around purposefully sniffing people it was just when you sprayed that much deodorant onto yourself, it was hard not to miss it. Superpowers or not.

The only problem was that he had a problem singling out that smell in the midst of all the other smells of New York City. 

“Fine then, super hear him then,” Wade grumbled throwing his hands up in the air.

“I can’t, there’s too much,” Matt waves his hand around in disgust around Wade’s face, “noise.”

Wade trudged on kicking a few bottles along the way. “Useless. Next time you get lost, I’m not looking for you.”

“Even better. Spidey and I can bitch about you the whole way home and only we’ll hear it with our ‘useless’ hearing.”

 

 

It was the next morning when Daredevil kicked Wade awake. “Morning Sweetie,” Wade greeted him with with glee as he sprang up and wrapped an arm around Matt. Wade was immediately tackled as to be expected.

“You’re awfully chipper,” Matt grunted. “Yeah well, we have a whole mission to solve! We need to find Spidey ASAP! So what I was thinking was flies. Now before you stop me, I’m talking fake ones. He’s a spider right? So we just lure him i-“

“-I know where he is,” Matt interrupted as he began to walk with purpose towards the Avengers Tower. Wade seeing where he was going froze immediately. “Oh no, Double D-,” Wade stopped himself when Matt noticeably flinched at the name. Only Spidey gave him that nickname. Apparently he had it trade marked and everything. God, Wade missed that baby boy already.

“-Red, I am not legally allowed to enter that building anymore.”

Matt spun around to face him. “You kill people all the time. Since when did you start caring about the law.”

Wade rubbed his arm but remained rooted in spot. “Uhh, well, you see. I may or may not have history with a certain archer in there and I don’t want it to be super duper awkward.”

Matt looked to the heavens and mentally asked god why he had given him this fate. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with Hawkeye. Please.”

“No no no no. Could you imagine?” Wade erupted into laughter before he quickly died down. “Actually I could imagine. Ooh boy, Mr Daredevil, you’ve just given me week-end plans.”

Before Matt could interrupt him, he continued, “unfortunately not, sweet cheeks. He actually wasn’t so hot about me after all. I uhh may have accidentally killed him?” He looked down at his boots sheepishly.

Matt spewed out too many curses before stomping his way towards the tower. “You are so full of-“

Wade had to run to keep up with him. “No, no you don’t understand. He was dead. But only for like a few minutes.” Wade shook his head as he recalled the memory. “He was such a drama queen about it. I mean, I die all the time and you don’t hear me complaining. Or calling SHIELD. Or bitching about it to the entire Avengers ensemble. Or filing a restraining order. Or swearing to make my murderer’s death slow and painful. Now that I think about it, this could be more than super duper awkward.”

Matt continued speed walking on.  
“You and him can deal with this later, Wilson. Right now, we need to get our Spidey back.”

 

 

As they reached the front entrance of the building, it dawned on them that they had no idea what they were doing.

“My cane,” Matt muttered under his breath. Wade skipped after him until they got to a dumpster at the end of an alleyway a couple blocks from the tower. 

“As much as I support you using weapons, I thought your aesthetic was more of a punchy punchy type thing. Without replying, Matt grabbed a cane and a duffel bag out of the dumpster and made his way towards the tower once more. He slipped into a bathroom and when he emerged, Wade almost fell with shock.

“Y-you’re all fancy and stuff. You’re wearing a suit! What the hell is going on, Red?”

Matt frowned and put on his glasses. Wade added, “I like your glasses, babe. Red tint? Suits you.”

Matt shook his head in disbelief. How Wade couldn’t tell he was blind by now was beyond him. He dismissed the receptionist and began to run up the stairs, ignoring the receptionist’s threats of calling security. Once he could hear Spidey’s voice through the wall, he stopped running and began to ‘act blind’.

He extended his cane and fixed his suit. It finally clicked in Wade’s head just as Matt was about to open the door to what seemed to be an interrogation room of sorts. “Holy shit! You’re blind?! What the f-“

The door opened revealing a much too happy Spider-Man chatting to various members of the Avengers team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks for supporting this :)) I’m thinking of starting to read comics now (Ik it’s a disgrace I haven’t started reading them sooner) and I was wondering if you had any suggestions? Or just your favourite comics ever. Cool. So that’s that. Uhh bye.  
> Also as a non American person writing the word dumpster physically hurt me somehow. Also I am so lost with how blocks work I hope I used that right heheh


End file.
